For a long time, I was scared to strength train.
As a former Division 1 athlete, it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.
For me, strength training had always been something that led me to burnout.
But I after I became a mom, I changed my approach to strength training to make it more sustainable for me and it was easily one of the best decisions of my life.
How My Fear of Lifting Started
I started running in 2008 as a high school freshman and then went on to run cross country and track in college while earning a B.S. degree in Exercise Science. Then, I became a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist and Wellness Coordinator and coached people as a large part of my career.
I checked all of the boxes of someone who should have been comfortable lifting weights. But I wasn’t.
For a period after college, I worked with a trainer at a big box gym who designed training programs for bodybuilders—with the endless reps and sooooo many sets. The sessions were exhausting and unsustainable. But as a former college athlete, I’d always been coached so I didn’t question his advice and I stayed.
Eventually though, I burnt out from these sessions that were clearly incompatible with my goals. I didn’t feel any stronger than I’d been before and I wasn’t achieving any of the results I was seeking. I felt uncomfortable, weak, and unhealthy.
Intimidated and embarrassed by my “failure” to succeed at getting stronger, I went back to running because it felt familiar and safe. But I the weakness lingered and deep down, I felt it.
The Turning Point
Then, I became a mom.
Everything changed. My body had grown, carried, and birthed a baby.
Pregnancy had been hard on my joints. I had severe pelvic pain and was unable to do any types of formal cardio. Even walking short distances was excruciating.
I needed to build strength–both physically and emotionally. I finally humbled myself about 6 months after having our daughter, and asked my husband, Colin, to coach me.
Colin was also a former endurance junkie who had discovered a love for barbell training. He’d became a Barbell Logic coach and he wholeheartedly believed in the power of strength training—not just for aesthetics, but for health, confidence, and longevity. He’d been encouraging me to give strength training another try, but I’d been resisting thanks to my past experiences with barbell training that had left me feeling burnt out, overtrained, and very sour. Plus, like many women, I was terrified of bulking up.
But, there I was, ready to finally give barbell training another try. But this time, I wanted to be the one calling the shots so it would actually work for me, my life, and my goals.
My New Strength Training Rules
So I had three rules for Colin as he created a training plan for me:
- The workouts needed to be quick and efficient to allow time for my daughter, especially as a full-time working mom.
- My daughter needed to be able to be in the gym with me. That meant working out at home, with the equipment we already had.
- My goals were no longer related to performance. I wasn’t trying to win any competitions; I was chasing longevity, confidence, and a model of strength for my daughter.
He agreed and it worked. With his help, I was able to rewrite the story of what strength training was in my life. Instead of it tearing me down and wiping me out, it was making me stronger and it was totally doable for me.
The Comeback is Complete
That was four years ago. Since then, I’ve had two more daughters, and I’ve trained consistently throughout both pregnancies, with a 6-week hiatus in those postpartum phases. I branched out and hired a coach who specialized in postpartum strength training and happened to have four children of her own. She helped me navigate strength training during and after pregnancy with flexibility and grace, but all the while, promoting consistency in my workouts. Now I train myself again with more experience and insight than ever before.
Here’s what I’ve discovered: It’s not about how much you can lift, how much you weigh, or how even how much you know. It’s about doing things when you are afraid. It’s about showing up and giving what you have in that moment. It’s okay to fail, and it’s absolutely okay for performance to wax and wane as you go through different phases of life. Your body is going to change, your energy levels are going to fluctuate, and your progress is going to be less than linear. But it’s all about showing up and having the discipline to keep going.
I feel great. I feel confident. I enjoy lifting, and not because I excel at it, which I STILL don’t. (Maybe someday!) I’m no longer afraid of “bulking up” or over-doing it. I have learned how to listen to my body, and most importantly, I’ve learned to love exercising just for the sake of moving my body – not for the sake of proving anything to myself or others.
Today, my daughters see their mom getting stronger. They watch me train. Sometimes they join in and want to challenge themselves too. And that, more than anything, makes it worth it.
For the Moms Who Are Hesitating
So if you’ve been afraid to get started – or to start again – hear me when I tell you:
It’s okay to start small.
It’s okay to set your own rules and boundaries.
It’s okay to be nervous about it. But do it anyway, because you just might love it.
You don’t have to be fearless to start strength training. You just have to be willing. —Kristen F.
Kristen Fannon is an NSCA Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist and Corporate Wellness Coordinator working in the Aviation Industry, girl mom of three, and a wife who most certainly doesn’t enjoy telling her husband that he was right about barbell training.